It’s Monday, so that means back to the daily grind! Normally I schedule all my blog posts in advance, but I’ve been up nice and early writing this one for you all because last night, David and I went to go see Fleet Foxes– one of my long-time favorite bands. We have been incredibly busy this summer!
David’s and my relationship has always been marked with lots and lots of busy times. When we first started dating, I was going to school out of state. Then we moved to New York for grad school where we worked opposite schedules and I was going to school/doing my internship full time. Then we moved back home and David started the school/work rotation. In our eight years together, we have never had a prolonged period of time where we weren’t busy most of the time. We’ve had to work hard over the years to make our relationship a priority through the hustle and bustle of everyday life.
If you’re like us, you know that making your marriage a priority, especially when you’re busy, can be a lot of work! Here are five ways to strengthen your marriage even during the busy times.
5 Tips for Making your Marriage a Priority (Even when you’re Busy)
1. Talk About It
Everyone knows that one of the most important pillars in a strong marriage is communication. So it makes sense to let your spouse know you are working on making your marriage a priority. Let’s be honest, when you’re both swamped at work and want nothing more than to go home at the end of the day and kick back, it’s easy to let your relationship take a back seat. So let them know what you want to change, and ask your spouse what they’d like to see change too. And when things are going right between you, make a point to mention it. Saying “I love you” can go a long way.
2. Plan in Advance
If you’re already busy, I bet you’ve had days where you’ve cancelled date night because you had other things you have to get done, or you’re just too tired to go out. But that automatically means that you’ve now just prioritized your work/friends/children/dog over your relationship. So make a plan to spend time together and commit to it.
One easy way that my husband and I do this is that we like to go to events where we have to buy tickets. We bought our tickets for last night’s concert at least six months ago. Even though we had a SUPER busy weekend, we made spending time with each other a priority and had a great night.
[Related: 12 Creative Date Night Ideas for Any Budget]
3. Learn each other’s Love Language
If you haven’t heard about the 5 Love Languages yet, you’re in for a treat! Megan over at Apron Strings and Sticky Fingers wrote a great post all about Learning to Speak the Five Love Languages that I highly suggest you check out.
Knowing your’s and your spouse’s love language simplifies making your marriage a priority, ESPECIALLY when you’re busy because it takes a lot of the guess work out. Now I know that if I want to show my husband I’m working on strengthening our relationship, I can clean the house or have a special dinner made for him when he comes home from school at 10 pm, because one of his love languages is “acts of service.” And because two of my top love languages are “words of affirmation” and “quality time,” he knows that sending me a thoughtful text during the day will give me a morale boost, and that I’ll love nothing more than to come home to a portion of my the dedicated just to us.
4. Find a Trusted Friend
Or mentor, or accountability partner, or someone who you can trust to help you in making your marriage a priority.Find a person who you talk to you need to have a difficult conversation, and who someone will celebrate with you. Having another couple who can mentor you is great, but it’s also important for you each to have your own person as well. Sometimes ya just need to vent! But don’t seek out people who will ride-or-die to take your side. Look for a person who will validate you but will also challenge you.
[Related: How to Fearlessly Handle Confrontation]
5. Go to Bed Early
Bedtime can be a great time to prioritize your relationship. Go to bed at the same time of your spouse, and do it early– before you’re so exhausted that you immediately fall asleep. Spend the time catching up on what’s important (See #1), cuddling, and laughing.
But whatever you do, don’t fight in bed! If you sense an argument coming on, it’s better to get up and move to a different room than to stay in bed. Keep your bedroom a space where you know you and your spouse can feel completely comfortable with one another.
Lastly, always kiss goodnight. 🙂
How do you and your spouse work toward making your marriage a priority? Let me know in the comments!
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