5 Tips for Making your Marriage a Priority (Even when you’re Busy)

5 Tips for Making your Marriage a Priority (Even when you're Busy)It’s Monday, so that means back to the daily grind! Normally I schedule all my blog posts in advance, but I’ve been up nice and early writing this one for you all because last night, David and I went to go see Fleet Foxes– one of my long-time favorite bands. We have been incredibly busy this summer!

David’s and my relationship has always been marked with lots and lots of busy times. When we first started dating, I was going to school out of state. Then we moved to New York for grad school where we worked opposite schedules and I was going to school/doing my internship full time. Then we moved back home and David started the school/work rotation. In our eight years together, we have never had a prolonged period of time where we weren’t busy most of the time. We’ve had to work hard over the years to make our relationship a priority through the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

If you’re like us, you know that making your marriage a priority, especially when you’re busy, can be a lot of work! Here are five ways to strengthen your marriage even during the busy times.

5 Tips for Making your Marriage a Priority (Even when you’re Busy)

1. Talk About It

Everyone knows that one of the most important pillars in a strong marriage is communication. So it makes sense to let your spouse know you are working on making your marriage a priority. Let’s be honest, when you’re both swamped at work and want nothing more than to go home at the end of the day and kick back, it’s easy to let your relationship take a back seat. So let them know what you want to change, and ask your spouse what they’d like to see change too. And when things are going right between you, make a point to mention it. Saying “I love you” can go a long way.

[Related: Six Important Lessons for a Rock-Solid Relationship]

2. Plan in Advance

If you’re already busy, I bet you’ve had days where you’ve cancelled date night because you had other things you have to get done, or you’re just too tired to go out. But that automatically means that you’ve now just prioritized your work/friends/children/dog over your relationship. So make a plan to spend time together and commit to it.

One easy way that my husband and I do this is that we like to go to events where we have to buy tickets. We bought our tickets for last night’s concert at least six months ago. Even though we had a SUPER busy weekend, we made spending time with each other a priority and had a great night.

[Related: 12 Creative Date Night Ideas for Any Budget]

3. Learn each other’s Love Language

If you haven’t heard about the 5 Love Languages yet, you’re in for a treat! Megan over at Apron Strings and Sticky Fingers wrote a great post all about Learning to Speak the Five Love Languages that I highly suggest you check out.

Knowing your’s and your spouse’s love language simplifies making your marriage a priority, ESPECIALLY when you’re busy because it takes a lot of the guess work out. Now I know that if I want to show my husband I’m working on strengthening our relationship, I can clean the house or have a special dinner made for him when he comes home from school at 10 pm, because one of his love languages is “acts of service.” And because two of my top love languages are “words of affirmation” and “quality time,” he knows that sending me a thoughtful text during the day will give me a morale boost, and that I’ll love nothing more than to come home to a portion of my the dedicated just to us.

 

4. Find a Trusted Friend

Or mentor, or accountability partner, or someone who you can trust to help you in making your marriage a priority.Find a person who you talk to you need to have a difficult conversation, and who someone will celebrate with you. Having another couple who can mentor you is great, but it’s also important for you each to have your own person as well. Sometimes ya just need to vent! But don’t seek out people who will ride-or-die to take your side. Look for a person who will validate you but will also challenge you.

[Related: How to Fearlessly Handle Confrontation]

5. Go to Bed Early

Bedtime can be a great time to prioritize your relationship. Go to bed at the same time of your spouse, and do it early– before you’re so exhausted that you immediately fall asleep. Spend the time catching up on what’s important (See #1), cuddling, and laughing.

But whatever you do, don’t fight in bed! If you sense an argument coming on, it’s better to get up and move to a different room than to stay in bed. Keep your bedroom a space where you know you and your spouse can feel completely comfortable with one another.

Lastly, always kiss goodnight. 🙂


How do you and your spouse work toward making your marriage a priority? Let me know in the comments!

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5 Tips for Making your Marriage a Priority (Even when you're Busy)

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  • Jennifer Seislove

    This is a thoughtful list and some good reminders! Married 15 years and my husband and I always go to bed at the same time. It is the only time in the day that we can look, listen, and truly focus on our convos.

  • It’s soooo important to make our relationships a priority and these are really awesome tips! I’m super thankful that my boyfriend has just as much flexibility in his schedule as I do so we never really have to think about spending time together – he’s kind of just stuck with me 24/7 and can never ever ever escape me haha jk but not really! For a while though we got so comfortable with 24/7 snuggle parties as we worked from bed that it got a little unhealthy. Now we plan daily adventures to get out and make fun memories together.

    • Your boyfriend sounds great! What’s great too is that you recognized when things got to be too much and you made some adjustments. I totally get that though lol I’m a big cuddler!

  • Those moments before we fall asleep at night at some of my favorites. We work weird hours so it can’t always happen, but I treasure those talks and cuddles when it does. I also want to plan more things with him – he kind of doesn’t like that because he wants to be spontaneous, but when life gets crazy it’s necessary!

    • They are great aren’t they? I know what you mean about the weird hours thing. We are mostly good on that now, but we had some conflicting schedules in the past that made things tough.

  • Buying tickets ahead of time is a great idea. We tend to put off date nights a lot but maybe if we had tickets/reservations/some other external commitment we might do it more regularly.

  • Kristen Jones

    Love this list! Date nights are something we definitely have kept a priority. Whether it’s walking to go get ice cream down the street or a fancy dinner, we still do something once a week!

  • Yes to all of these, especially the love languages!

  • I love this, I find the busier that we get the more the relationship goes on the back burner. I need to share this with him.

  • These are great reminders! I’ve found that communication is key and that healthy marriages are always being worked on!

  • Rachel Catherine

    We are so bad at making the marriage a priority. Life really gets in the way sometimes and you just get in this routine. These are great tips though.

  • Taylor Smith

    This is SO important!! You definitely need to make your marriage a priority.

  • Talking ABOUT the prioritization is huge too, I think! Being able to tell the other when you think they’re NOT prioritizing your marriage and why/how is huge in overcoming everything together!

    Coming Up Roses

    • Oh for sure! Being open and forward is a good habit. Passive aggressiveness or no communication whatsoever is dangerous territory

  • Great tips!! We are in a major busy season right now, and it’s causing us to not prioritize certain areas of our marriage and we’ve definitely had to have some heart-to-hearts on how we can help each other during this stressful time. I think it’s time we start scheduling some fun dates!!

  • Kelsie Kleinmeyer

    These are great tips! I definitely think communication is so important- even when it’s hard!

    • For sure! I know I definitely appreciate communication even when it isn’t easy to hear.

  • Thanks for sharing my post in this <3 the love languages make such a difference in relationships! I love the GIFs you used haha those are some of my favourite shows.

    • Yeah I had to pick some of my favorite TV couples 🙂 And you’re so welcome! It was a great post.